Are you thinking about buying something? Something you aren’t sure about? Something you hope will work?
Cue the ifs and buts…
If I paint it a different color. If it were just a little bigger. If I can use my coupon on it.
But I think I can make it work. But it is such a good price. But I might never find another one like it again.
Let me throw a big BUT right back at you…
But do you love it?
Will you carry it with you the rest of your life, wherever you call home (or at least the rest of its useful life)?
Silence.
If you don’t love it, WAIT.
You are a victim of two tactics to put more money in retailer’s pockets. And all the better if you take them up on their deal and hate the piece later. That means you’ll be looking to buy again. And they can swoop in with another irresistible deal.
Tactic 1: Scarcity Mentality
The scarcity mentality on home decor and furniture is rampant. Discount stores, thrift stores, and online flash sale sites pray on your scarcity mentality. The idea that you won’t find that unique thing at such a great price EVER AGAIN.
But, really?
Think about it for a moment. If you miss out on the amazing deal and don’t buy that accent chair you’re eyeing, are you never going to find another accent chair? Are they going to stop making chairs? If this one isn’t perfect, will no chair ever be exactly what you want?
That’s a big fat NO to all of the above. If you wait, you will find another chair, they will always make more chairs, and someday you will find what you want.
So, if you aren’t sure you love it, WAIT.
You know what happens when you settle for good enough? When you buy something that is just okay? When you spend your money on that non-returnable flash sale item or thrift store find that you hope you can make work?
Well, the next day or next week or next year you are going to find THE ONE. The one you really wanted. The one that makes your heart go pitter-patter.
But you already filled the space, spent the money, no take-backs. It is then, whether a day later or a year, that YOU WILL WISH YOU HAD WAITED. The wait would have been worth it.
Tactic 2: Urgency Mentality
The other trap is the “I need it now mentality”. You do this one to yourself. You are in a race against time to finish your home. You are uncomfortable knowing there is more to be done. The retailer’s just exploit your weakness.
But I need something there. But I need to finish this room. But I have company coming over.
If I buy it now it costs less. If I can’t finish this room, I’m a failure. If my house isn’t perfect, everyone will notice.
But, but, but, if, if, if….
Really?
Do you really need it now? Can you really not live without it? Is now WORTH SACRIFICING LOVE?
Buying for now costs more in the long run, because later you spend again to replace what you don’t love, hopefully with something you do. Buying for now wastes more time in the long run, because you’ll spend the rest of your time thinking about, pining for, and seeking a replacement.
Almost always you don’t need it now. You can survive without it. If it is available now at that price, it will be available at that price again some time in the future. Yep, all sales are cyclical. What goes around, comes around. Flash sale sites are a prime example of this. That amazing deal is only good for two days, but six months from now the same piece is in a flash sale again.
Does the wrong thing finish the room? Does the fill-in void your need to get it right? Is finished WORTH SACRIFICING WELL DONE?
Having it now is worthless, if you don’t love it tomorrow. Tweet that!
I’ve been there. I’ve bought the things I just had to have now. And I’ve stared at them ever since wondering what would be better. Case in point, I am writing this sitting on a stool I hate, but thought I needed before my in-laws came for their first visit. And, guess what, they never sat on the stools or noticed them.
I don’t always wait, but I am actively reminding myself it’s the better thing to do.
We waited what seemed like an eternity to get seating for one side of our living room. We looked at all the options and waited until we fell in love. Once we fell head-over-heals, it was okay to spend a little more for a chair we would proudly keep for ages.
We are still waiting to find the one for the office. My hubby borrows a chair from the dining room when he works from home. We are making it work until we find the one. We know it will be worth the wait.
I asked my hubby recently, “if we ever moved would you sell all the furniture and start over?” He was VISIBLY DISGUSTED at the idea. He said, “but we love our furniture!”
He is mostly right. I pointed out a few things we don’t love and he agreed we could part with those. That got me wondering why we even have them to begin with. Spring cleaning is right around the corner and space-fillers beware…I am ready to make space for things we love…no matter how long it takes to find them.
Just like you can’t find love in relationships until your heart is open, you can’t find love in your furnishings until your space is open.
Take the time waiting to figure out what you really love, what you really want, what will really have staying power. That is the fastest way to a home you love.
I love this article and it was just what I needed at the moment since I’m looking for new fabric to reupholster my chairs but can’t seem to find the right one and was almost settling for something I didn’t love! Thank you for this eye opener! :D
Elvi, I’ve been there. But upholstery is way too big of a job to settle. I bet you’ll find the right fabric as soon as you stop looking for it.
Love this! I’ve been learning this lesson the hard way for too long, finally realizing its better to spend a little more for what I really want than buying too many things I sort of like on sale (a lot less money and clutter) Your posts have been coming at the perfect time for me as I’m finally starting to make our house “ours” – its only taken 3 years :)
Kelly, Yay! Just remember there’s no rush…as long as every step takes you closer to making it yours.
I feel vindicated! I have always had a disease that keeps me from buying things so that I can wait for what I love. (Granted, that has kept a few of my rooms bare for a year or two at a time…) But I think that to really show YOU in your design, you have to fill your home with things that say YOU, not “the best I could find at the time.”
Alysa, Yes, yes, yes! There is definitely a fine line between waiting for what you love and clinging to some vision of perfection that can’t be achieved. You definitely gotta move forward in your home, but never with “the best I could find at the time.” Life is too short to fill your home with stuff you only kinda like. And a year or two of empty space is nothing…might just be the breathing room you need to figure out what you really want.
Again, enjoyed reading your guest post plus this article. I realize that when I do move , which is not for 13 years now, I tend to like buying some of the pieces for the new home. Just not all! I’m the sentimentalist. Using childhood and my folks old furniture repainted in my space and making it look different but the same. Your tips were never around when I was starting out. I sent on to my daughter because she’s at a standstill. Thanks for being helpful and practical!!
Thank you Gwen. I hope these articles help your daughter.
Totally agree! Your home is a reflection of You and your family, it’s definately worth the wait and the patience to find the furniture or items that you all love.
I must say I am guilty of falling for that ole ( Yes that’ll do , mindset) with all the very valid reasoning that comes with it, only to find myself somewhat dissapointed months later, sometimes thinking of a better alternative!Sometimes even, with a twinge of guilt, replacing it altogether!
Thanks for the reminder! It pays to be sure, to be sure, to be [email protected]//(*-*)\\@